While ceremonies can vary from religious to spiritual to civil (and of course anywhere in between), most ceremonies follow a pretty traditional outline or order.
Depending on the type of ceremony, you can open up with a prayer or greeting, welcoming your friends and family to the ceremony.
How many times have you heard on TV, "Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today?" Well, that pretty much spells out what this section is! It is a few lines to remind your guests why they have been brought together – to celebrate your love for each other and to witness your transformation from two individuals into one family unit.
Sometimes, if you've lost a loved one, you may want to mention their names and/or include a moment of silence here.
This is where in old times the officiant would want to make sure that the bride and groom weren't being coerced into getting married for some nefarious reason. Today, it is used as a reminder of the responsibilities inherent in being a part of a married couple.
Here is an opportunity to show off your personality! Normally you would choose one or two readings that fit your thoughts about love and marriage. They can come from anywhere! If you're having a religious ceremony, you might want to choose Bible readings, but otherwise you're open to anything that inspires you, from poems to passages from novels, to song lyrics, or the words on a favorite Hallmark card!
Here is a link to some readings to get you started, but you're not limited to these by any means:
You can also choose someone to perform the reading for you or have the officiant do it him or herself.
In a religious ceremony, we might talk about the significance of the bible passages you chose. In a spiritual or non-religious ceremony, it is an opportunity to amplify the themes mentioned in your readings. Either way, we try not to get too preachy and focus more on you as a couple.
These are the promises you are making to each other. They can be done in many different ways, from the classic "I do" question to a repetitive vow where we could prompt you line by line. Some couples take this as an opportunity to write their own vows and speak them on their own, without help from the officiant.
Here are links to some vow options if you want to find some inspiration:
This can be as simple as blessing the rings, talking about the symbolism of the rings, and passing them to you to give to each other. You could also include a bit of repetition here: "With this ring / I thee wed ..." or something similar.
This is an opportunity to again show the symbolism of two becoming one. You could choose a Unity Candle Ceremony, a Sand Ceremony, a Rose Ceremony, a Cord of Three Strands, etc. There are many variations to choose from or you could opt not to include it at all!
This is the big send-off blessing upon you as a couple. It can be religious or a prayer but doesn't have to be. This is a great opportunity to include a cultural blessing (like the Irish Blessing or Apache Blessing) if that fits you!
It's the big moment you've been waiting for! Classically, it could be, "I now pronounce you husband and wife." There, of course, are plenty of alternatives!
Just what it sounds like!
Here is where the officiant has the opportunity to introduce you to everyone with your new joint last name if you decide to go that way: "It is my honor to introduce to everyone Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith!"
