I was recently reading a lovely article on the Huffington Post entitled "Wedding Vows From Across Religions" and it got me thinking about all of the questions couple have about their vows. So I thought it might be nice to clarify what the vows are and how you can approach them during the ceremony.
First, the vows are just a part of your ceremony. There are many other ceremony elements that go into making a quality wedding ceremony. If you just had wedding vows, the ceremony would be very short!
The vows are, however, the high point of the ceremony. I like to build up to them to showcase these special promises you are making to each other – and that's basically what they are: promises. Classically, you might promise to be true to each other in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer...but you can definitely customize those promises to make them unique or more modern in their approach.
That doesn't even begin to cover your options for how you will be performing the vows. For me it is easiest to break the vows up into these styles:
- Writing & speaking your own – in this type of vow, you might prepare something ahead of time or speak extemporaneously to your significant other. I usually advise couples to think of these vows in two parts: first, tell us what you love about your soon-to-be spouse and then transition to "and so I promise..." and share your promises. These don't have to be terribly long, but you can feel free to write or say as much as you like!
- Repeating Vows – in this type of vow ceremony, you are prompted by your officiant to repeat the vows line-by-line. Typically, the officiant will write up the vows in collaboration with you to make sure that they are perfect for you, but sometimes couples will write them and send to the officiant for inclusion.
- "I Do" Vows – this might be the most traditional vow or the one you've seen on TV or in the movies the most. It usually involves the officiant asking both spouses a question like, "Do you take ______ to be your husband/wife, to have and to hold...for as long as you both shall live?" Then each of you gets to answer, "I do."
- Hybrid Vows – this usually involves two parts: first, a short form of writing your own vows, then capping off the ceremony with an "I do" question. It's perfect for the couple that wants to have their voices heard during the ceremony but doesn't want the pressure turned up too high!
No matter what type of vows you want during your ceremony, the experts at South Florida Officiants are here to work with you to put together a wedding ceremony that will resonate with you and reflect your values and beliefs. Contact us to check on availability and to begin the conversation!